Monday, August 23, 2010

I'm So Xcite'd

There's a saying that I like, goes something like this...

Friends will help you move, real friends will help you move bodies!

I discovered the Second Life equivalent of this saying last week.  The situation didn't involve bodies, but rather... body parts.  You see, I learned long ago that what I may be seeing on my screen isn't necessarily what other people are seeing when they look at me in Second Life.  Being aware of this fact, I decided to have my new friend and landlady extraordinaire McKenna help me with getting my coloring right on my genitals.  One must look their best at all times, especially now that I'm living in a clothing optional sim.

I knew I could count on her for two reasons.

1.  She's use to me IMing her semi-noob questions at least 2 or 3 times a day as I become reacquainted with SL.

2.  She's the sweetest and most giving person I've met since coming back. To know her is to love her!

The conversation went something like this...

Me:  Hey Mac, got a minute? I need your opinion on something.

McKenna: Sure, what's up?

Me: Well, I kind of have to show you, you in the sim?

McKenna: Let me TP you.

She TPs me to her location and I show her my goods.

Me:  Is my thingy the same color as my skin?

McKenna:  LOL, actually it's kind of reddish, what have you been sticking that thing into?

Me:  Hah, I don't kiss and tell :P

I make a color adjustment, and ask again.

Me:  How about now?

McKenna:  Nope, too dark.  You know, only in SL is a conversation like this considered normal.

Me: Hah, I was just thinking that too :P

Another adjustment.

Me: Now?

McKenna:  Too light... and its also not hanging quite right.

Me: Dammit, I'm discolored and deformed :P

McKenna:  ROFL, wait, what model is that?

Me: X3

McKenna:  You need to upgrade, there's an X4 out now.  Solar has one, its so much better and a lot easier to match to your skin.  You can even trade in your old one.

Me: Now you tell me :P  OK I'm off to Xcite then.  Thanks for the info :)

McKenna:  No problem, have fun cock shopping :)

Feeling only mildly embarrassed, I tucked away my pigment challenged tool and headed to Xcite!

I always get a bit nostalgic when I shop at Xcite!  Back in 2005, when I was a 3 day old noob, my friend took me there to get my first cock.  Without a doubt, it was the most surreal experience of my second life.  After I made my purchase, I wet to rez the boxed cock and pull it out.  In my inexperience with rezing objects, I accidentally rezed it inside a wall at the store, and couldn't get it out.  Luckily an Xcite! employee was able to get it out of the wall for me. 

Then I said words I thought I would never say to anyone in my life...

"Thanks for getting my cock out of the wall."

Ahh.. memories.

But I digress. 

I headed into Xcite to get myself a new and improved X4 cock...

Please excuse the lack of pictures of my shopping experience, I don't want to have to put a parental advisory disclaimer on my blog waring of adult pictures and such.  Thank you for your understanding.

I was amazed to find that they had made a giant leap forward in cock technology.  You first selected a "core" that the rest of the cock would attach to.  Next was the shaft, of course there was a plethora of choices... length, girth, and orientation (points up or strait when erect).  Next was your choice of testicle styles... high and tight, low and dangly, and everything in between.  Next, your choice of accessories, piercings, cock rings, sounds, tattoos, even clothespins you could attach to your balls. (cringes)

I made my selections (wouldn't you like to know... but I'm not telling), paid and got my boxed cock.  Remembering my 2005 cock catastrophe, I TP'd home to unpack and try out my new purchase.  Here's where the new X4 really shines (no pun intended).  Once attached, I click on my new schlong, and an inworld Internet window popped up connecting to the Xcite website, asking me to select my options.

I was really amazed, you could actually color your cock by selecting which skin, from which maker you would be wearing, and your cock would be matched.  It took about 30 seconds for the all the options to be applied in Second Life... and I was done. 

Operation Cock Upgrade complete!

I highly recommend the X4 for you guys out there, ladies it also makes a great gift for that special guy in your life.

After going through all this, I learned yet another valuable Second Life lesson...

Friends will tell you when your shoes don't match your outfit, real friends will tell you when your cock  doesn't match your skin.

X4 Jon

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